Your baby is here, and as soon as it opens its eyes, it’s given an array of black, red, and white items, mirrors, noisy objects, and pictures of other children. This, after all, enhances your child’s vision, touch, and listening capabilities and prepared him or her for grasping, touching, and talking. Pretty soon, you and your child will be reading Shakespeare together and solving differential equations.

But do you even do those during your free time – or are you hoping that your child will get to them soon enough? A recent editorial in The Express Tribune seems to think that the latter is the case. The author goes on to detail how parents’ competition with other parents starts, essentially, as soon as the baby arrives. They talk about the various milestones their child reaches, hoping their baby is the first to walk or talk, and over time, this develops into the modern-day helicopter parents phenomena that have, literally and figuratively, descended on nearly every college campus, hoping their children are the best and the brightest – and stay that way, no matter what it takes.

But should parental competition get to this, and what’s the best strategy for stopping and, basically, laying off and calming down? While the author of the Express Times article mentions that this competition and resulting pressure stresses the child out too much, the solution is letting children develop and reach milestones at their own pace. Basically, put down the Baby Einstein and your kid will be fine in the long run – she may even get into Harvard.

Of course, such a notion is easier said than done, and not joining in with other parents discussing their children’s development may seem like you’re distancing yourself. But is risking your child being burned out by the time he or she is five the best strategy for parenting?

One part of being a parent is getting to see your children develop and transform. This, of course, starts with small developmental milestones in infancy, such as rolling, crawling, and talking. Some parents, on the other hand, see reaching such goals as a competition from the start. If a child doesn’t get to a point as fast as another child, a parent may wonder, “What is wrong with my child?” or “Could I have done anything?” In either case, as some parenting experts have explained, children learn and pick up these basic skills at their own pace. In fact, forcing them upon a child may end up backfiring.

But that doesn’t mean that parenting tips and suggestions can’t be helpful. Rather, it’s how these tips are used that’s the most effective. A recent press release from the Similac Infant Nutritional Panel announces such a service. Similac positions itself as a resource for advising parents in helping their children reach certain milestones. One example, as mentioned in the press release, is the introduction of nonverbal gestures as early communication. Starting with waving and nodding gestures introduces a child to basic communication skills, although only one gesture should be added at a time. However, the press release also discusses making sure infants receive enough vitamins through nutrition to encourage crawling and rolling.

So, when it comes to parenting, what are mothers and fathers to do? On one hand, ignoring a child is considered negligent and on the other forcing a child too much to learn certain skills will make a child frustrated. The best approach, it appears, is the middle ground: encouraging and helping your child get to these developmental milestones but not seeing childhood as a competition. Children need and may welcome encouragement, not stress, when it comes to learning speech and motor skills from infancy through childhood.